Fear. A curious emotion. In the stories we read that the fearful are those who cower in shadows, or who bolt away from danger, dooming themselves. But last night I discovered that fear may manifest itself in other ways. An ancient text states that fear leads to anger, but last night, if I am not mistaken, my fear lead to an unusual boldness. Unless it was not motivated by fear of loss, but for a selfless love for my comrades… How can I tell?

Our mission was very sudden, and there was a complication; two coming up at the same time. Marv's friend from the underground had located an arms shipment through town; sounded quick and easy and lucrative. But Compatriot had sent an urgent request from Rebel High Command - brief and cryptic, and definitely high risk. I confess that I was tempted to grab the easy weapons, but without the Alliance we will be destroyed, and without localized cells the Alliance has no chance of openly defying the Empire.

And so I found myself jumping onto the back of a moving hovertram. Dash pulled a very skillful spinning tractor maneuver on the train. I definitely will give him extra props for that, and it provided an excellent quick getaway later. He still seemed over his head when it came to combat - and yet he did not bolt and run. I am actually feeling quite proud of how he handled himself.

Tor-nenko was once more a technical wizard, breaking locks and shutting down the comms. He surprisingly came in handy in the unfortunate firefight. I have an idea for a little present that he might appreciate - I just need time to meditate and collect my creative thoughts together.

Sprend was remarkably patient - posted as a lookout farther down the tracks to notify us when the last turn approached, and I imagine had the operation been delayed he would have thought of something. Rather like hunting - patience, and then choosing when to act and when to refrain.

We eventually discovered our objective was a battered and bruised man inside a heavily-armored crate. Clearly Force Sensitive, but almost unconscious when we found him. Dash and I carried home a crate that likely contains his personal effects. When we arrived back at the Reactor Core this mysterious man was in a coma or a trance. The Imps had clearly worked on him hard. His legs were almost mangled, his whole body bruised and broken.

I did not voice the thought, but anyone other than a Jedi would likely be dead in this condition. Tor-nenko had stabilised him with stims, but we just do not have the facilities to properly heal him, and we certainly cannot get him off-world now - the Empire will be on high alert. I anticipate they will be sending a real Inquisitor here shortly - this force sensitive is clearly important.

Damaria. Very intriguing. She is starting to settle in as a tactical mission leader, and her confidence is growing. When a fight breaks out her instincts are setting in and she takes charge. An accurate shot, too.

But most intriguing is her burgeoning Force ablity to sense those around her. After the mission I offered to walk her home, intent on discussing these matters. She described how she is able to sense living beings around her, and when she focuses, can even catch glimpses of their surface thoughts! Her face was excited and radiant as she spoke, her enthusiasm very sincere and contagious.

This authenticity melted my jaded caution - I had forgotten the joy of discovery, and even the thrill of danger. For years my life has been a web of deception and fear; I am a spider tugging at strings, hiding my true self from others, scuttling in the shadows. I was worried about the Empire taking away what little I have left, not realizing that by isolating myself I was effectively letting them win. I stared at Damaria, soaking in this realization. I choose life.

I told her in turn about my work on Jedi Mind Tricks. Like her “mind reading” it is much more difficult on naturally disciplined and trained minds, but very effective when it works. As the gunner found out on our way to the back of the train - I have never seen anyone run so fast. Fascinating.

As we reached her apartment, she pulled out a polyhedral crystal which I instantly recognized as a holocron. I was floored - something like this was priceless and incredibly rare. I told her what I knew of them from my reading, but I have a feeling it will take time for me to research further to be able to unlock it. I seem to recall one of the other Peers owning a book on holocrons that may help. I told her to keep it safe and hidden.

And I am very curious as to what is inside the heavy strongbox Dash and I recovered.

A fascinating day was spent hunting with Sprend. I managed to wake up at an unreasonably early hour, but I decided that this was more important than sleep. I need to connect with everyone or this team will fall apart at the first sign of Imperial push-back. But it is good to be back home, scrubbed clean and smelling like a human again.

In any case, Sprend and I had good, thoughtful conversations on the way to and from the lagoon. He mentioned the Takkas really needed to get out of the Safehouse - and I agree; our underground shelter is no place for a young family. I may have to contact Compatriot to see if she has leads on false identities for them; perhaps we can get them out to Sobrik where they are unknown.

The actual hunting went surprisingly well. I still am not a great shot with a slugthrower, but I bagged a couple of ducks. Sprend did much better, of course; I kept quiet and spent much of the time thinking. It was refreshing to get away from Bin Prime and the chaos of politics. I might need to do this more often - it reminded me of trips to the countryside with my family when I was young. I wonder what the Imps have done to the Swift summer cottage at Lake Sundar? No time to dwell in the past…

Sprend mentioned our mysterious Jedi on the way home. Apparently he briefly woke up last night, and spoke to Sprend. His name is Lo-den Xenrad, an actual Jedi Master! I was not aware that any had escaped the purges - my parents certainly thought they were all gone. He passed out again, and this evening when I stopped by he was still unconscious. Sprend seemed to think he had seen this Jedi three decades ago, and believes that this Jedi trusts me. I thought the Jedi hated Balmorrans since we sided with the Separatists, but it would not be surprising if their views have changed now that the former Republic's true nature has been revealed.

I really do not know what to think about this - if Damaria and I could receive training, our Resistance may suddenly gain some teeth. At the same time, we are in bigger trouble than I previously thought - the Empire surely knows now that a Jedi Master is loose on Balmorra, and that means the Inquisitorius will arrive here soon - no rookies this time. Unless, of course, Officer Madar is trying to hide this failure, too. Maybe his pride will give us extra time - one can only hope!

Sprend asked if I would stay quiet about Master Xenrad until he woke, and I agreed. But the second he wakes I need to speak with him in private.

Talent gained: Grit - +1 strain threshold; Keen Eyed - Remove from Perception/Vigilance checks, decrease time to search an area by half.

---

I am exhausted. It began with an early morning message from Compatriot to collect a key intel package at the Amphitheatre. And the traffic was horrible - the Centrepoint Grav-bus route was delayed by an hour by the time I arrived at my destination. This is an extra level of caution she has not shown before - usually packages are delivered to my house or just sent digitally.

After reading it, I understood why.

High ISB activity on Bin Prime, and a chance to gain a huge advantage over the Empire, not just on Balmorra but across the galaxy. If we can pull this mission off, Compatriot has promised to stop in and reveal the extent of the Rebellion to our growing Resistance group.

I invited Damaria over to my estate in the afternoon to discuss strategy - I really want her to take charge of these types of missions and make use of her training. Her understanding of Imperial tactics is vital. And the others are typically busy during the day - I do not want Dash to get in too much trouble!

It was fascinating to see her at work; I handed her the datapad with the intel, and she completely immersed herself in the study. The sunlight from the study window caught the highlights of her hair as she read - I hope my staring was not rude. In any case, she asked excellent questions and we came up with a plan. I also found out that she apparently gambles while drunk - I did not pursue that line of thought since she was already blushing as she mentioned her acquaintance at the casino.

We had another excellent meal - I need to send my compliments to Pohni Kor'al; that Coruscanti pasta was perfect, his COO cook droid is programmed well! We headed to the library after the meal and I proudly revealed the collection of books I borrowed from Baron Telmarr. All from the time of the Clone Wars, regarding the Republic's occupation of Balmorra. It was my turn to blush as Damaria made an off-hand comment about cramming at the Academy and “horizontal abilities” - I must admit I was flustered but my discipline came to the rescue.

I managed to focus on skimming the books, and we eventually came across several passages referring to Jedi and holocrons. It was slightly obtuse, but it was enough. We focused our Force senses on the holocron, and the crystal's corners twisted, then rose in the air. A strange alien appeared in the middle of the holocron, small and green, who spoke to us. “Welcome, you are. A record this is, of the Council of the Jedi. A database of knowledge, hmm, a biography of the heroes of the Jedi. What information do you seek?”

We looked at each other in astonishment. While there did not seem to be any immediate use to this information, perhaps somehow it would help us unlock the next level of that datachip. Who knows what value this restricted information could have to us?

This morning our shistavanen arrived on Bin Prime. I almost missed him; he had trimmed his fur and did not look much like Compatriot's profile of him. I had set up shop at the arrivals terminal and made some credits playing my lute, but when he came into view I focused my will on him, and it worked - he approached. I think I am catching on to my force abilities, or perhaps my musical chops are just that good…

In any case, I spoke to him under my breath, warning him about the danger he is in. He stared for a while, then followed my directions and picked up the message chip. I wonder if he felt the same as I did - a connection as we stared at each other, as if we have gone through devastation and are driven forward to hopefully change the future. It was unexpected but welcome - I really feel that he will fit this team.

I can only hope that he communicates with us, but we will move forward with Damaria's plan regardless. We meet this afternoon for the briefing. There are still so many unknowns - may the Force be with us.