Quite the week. It really flew by quickly - crafting a lightsaber hilt is much harder and time-consuming than I thought. It did not help that I completely messed up my first try.

At least my room has some privacy - it is set off to the side, and Merlyn only occasionally buzzed around, checking on my progress and lectured me not to overdo it. I probably did, but I tried not to show it.

Master Xenrad gave Damaria and I a lecture about sabers that was actually quite interesting - more so since I feel the need for more tools to defend myself - and helped us pick out suitable materials. So my staff of office is now a mere sheath, slightly functional but not really usable for attacking anymore; its ornamented head is now the curved handle of my shoto.

Purchases: Niman Technique - lightsaber skill uses Willpower; during Xenrad's lecture realized he connected with Form VI the best - he instinctively gravitates to enforcing his Will on others on the battlefield.

The handle fits beautifully into the sheath, and looks very similar to my old staff. Xenrad only had the standard ilum crystals, which are fine; I have read about a variety of others, and perhaps I need to keep an eye out for others. Who knows, maybe we can find a Krayt dragon… then again, that might be too much to handle!

Swift's shoto sheathed in his old staff of office

Fox visited me on the 12th. He was already recovered from the last mission, and seemed to be itching for action. I tried to answer his questions as best I could - he is hunting down Via, but with no success so far.

The Human League claimed responsibility for the attack, trying to get a ransom for me - hah! They obviously do not know that the government was probably pleased to hear I was captured. But this worries me - from what the others have said, this fanatic group is crazy and amoral. If they managed to capture Via, who knows what they would do to her. She is not completely “alien,” as they call it, but would still be considered only “near-human.”

Fox allowed me to work out my current “love life troubles,” and it made so much more sense after the conversation. The primary problem (beyond my personal desires) is one of politics; there have been 20 generations of Swifts in the Assembly, and we have been defenders of the people through all sorts of governments. I'm sure the Empire will gladly replace my spot with anyone from the Human League. If I die, an heir will ensure Balmorrans will be defended into the future. Even if the Empire falls quickly, we will need generations of skilled politicians to keep a new Emperor from rising. And someone who has the responsibility and weight of generations tends to think long-term rather than short-term, though it is not a perfect system, all other government types have their downsides as well.

The secondary issue is the women in my life. Via shows her interest plainly, but I am not sure if she is “just being a zeltron” and actually does not care that much about me personally, or she is intentionally playing me like Circe. Damaria and I connect well, and there is definitely attraction there too, but she is much more subtle, and again I am not sure if she is merely teasing or if there is even a genuine attraction on her end. She also seems… mostly… stable, and politically-speaking would be able to navigate my public world easier. In both cases, I don't want to ruin either the team dynamic or get too distracted, and yet my biological clock is ticking and I have the expectations of generations, not to mention my constituency. Any time I appear in public with a female the headlines are ridiculous…

Fox spoke some words of wisdom, simplified at least a part of my conundrum. Via does not seem to be the mothering type. And Damaria seems to fit in much better to my circles, if she wanted to. So Fox recommended I speak to her about it. Easy for him to say; and yet, maybe it is that simple. Fear of rejection, fear of messing up a finally-functioning group? So here I am, feeling like a teen, but balancing a Rebel Team with a political duty. Maybe I can work up enough courage eventually.

For the rest of the week, Damaria was a healing presence - even after she finished her saber she visited as I worked (that is probably why I took so long!), and it was refreshing to think about a world outside our Imperial-controlled bubble, and reminisce about our childhoods. Damaria seemed surprised when I spoke about Compatriot's identity - I suppose I did not think to tell her earlier.

The future seems hopeful right now; my saber is already a part of me and I feel empowered to move forward. With all the extra time spent on crafting, I have not had much time to train with the saber itself, though; I wonder if I shall have to learn by doing.

I thought I was done with the saber, but yesterday Xenrad smiled and pulled out the toolkit again; “A Jedi can fine-tune their crystals; careful precision adjustments can produce enhancements to the blade. The saber truly becomes yours as you work with it, shape it to your will.”

I went out to purchase supplies (special cutting tools, a lubricant and other oils and polishing materials), and spent the next two days concentrating, reaching out with the Force, and carefully adjusting lenses. The first day I concentrated on increasing power, getting an even focus across the blade. It went by smoothly, and the Force was with me. (2 +1 Damage mods) I was done after 3 hours of work.

Paperwork took up the rest of my day - I am trying to get back into the drudgery portion of politics. Could be worse.

The second day was not as simple. After consulting with Xenrad, I decided to try to sharpen the focus on the edges of the blade, and it worked, but the Force seemed less effective in aiding my work (Reduce crit rating by 1 mod); as I continued to work, my thoughts wandered to the Human League and the Imperial government, and I began to imagine getting revenge for the deaths of the slaves, for Damaria and Sprend's severe injuries, and I felt my fear and anger rising, channeling into the crystal. The blade somehow felt deadlier - I can almost imagine a pulsing leading edge (Vicious +1 quality mod, but had to use 3 dark side pips in order to succeed). In any case, I am ready to defend my family and the people of Balmorra, though it may mean losing my job. So be it.

Another busy couple of days. I heard from Marv that Sprend had discovered the ancient hangar, mentioned in the old datachip the Takkas had given to us. They had decoded another layer of data in which this “Ki-Adi-Mundi” described his studies of the ancient civil war on Balmorra, and had recorded coordinates to a possible hangar.

It turns out the hangar was still in decent shape, and only took a few days to clean up and refurbish. While these renovations were taking place, Sprend and I went on another hunting trip - not for meat, but for mounts.

Sprend had come across a female varactyl - he calls her Sasha, and it fits - during his surveying trip. He asked for some tack, so I decided to buy it for him, and since I got a two-for-one deal I asked if we could track down a mate for Sasha. Already I had visions of a hangar full of trained varactyls - the Alliance can always use mounts, and any extras we could sell.

Sprend brought me directly to the spot where he found Sasha, and it was only an hour or two before he pointed out some larger tracks - hopefully a male. Sasha was with us, and seemed excited - and it was not long at all before a large varactyl came into view, communicating with her in chirps and hoots. Sprend passed me some feed, and between Sasha and tasty treats, the reptavian seemed quite comfortable around us - no Force Influence necessary!

He is a red, quite the specimen, and seems to be Sasha's natural mate. While I fed him, Sprend carefully slipped a bridle on him, and we led them back to the hangar where we set up a bit of a corral and nesting cave. I think I shall call him Garnet.

With the varactyls settled in, we made a fire just outside the hangar. A perfect evening with a light breeze, no clouds, and a million stars. We swapped a few stories, and enjoyed the peace of the wilderness. Another moment I will cherish.

http://c-t-elder.deviantart.com/art/Reptiles-of-Utapau-65356163//