Excerpts from private datalog

35:03:03 - 13:17

Finally a chance to catch up and catch my breath – so much has happened in the last few days, hard to know where to begin. Our new role as integrated members of a Rebel fleet? The threat of sabotage that undermines that very role? The state of our team’s relationships?

I don’t quite know what to make of that last… before the panicked evac from Bin Prime, Swift & I had… not so much a talk, as an awkward dance of words. I tried to gently let him know what I’d “overheard” the night of our tortures – but is there any good way to say “By the way, I was in your head during your most vulnerable time and heard you say you love me?” If there is, I clearly didn’t know it. And I still don’t quite know what to make of us – like I tried to tell him, interest is there, but I feel an even greater responsibility to our team as a whole and, for now, the need to strike at the Empire. I’m not sure he heard anything other than “not now” though… and before we could delve into things further, my head exploded in a cacophony of pain and screaming voices, far worse even than my initial Force awakening (we later found that Alderaan had been destroyed – that kind of macabre power in the Empire’s hands is why we MUST focus on striking first!). Then we were being directed offworld ASAP, and since there there doesn’t seem to have been a good chance to talk further with Swift. I even wonder if he’d want to still – I can’t imagine he thinks I haven’t noticed him slobbering after the doctor on Arda 1 like a moonstruck Rancor. What will be will be, I suppose…

Right. The doctor, Arda 1… and the general Rebellion. I’ll admit it’s been refreshing to be part of a larger structure lately – though it doesn’t quite feel the same as my days at the Academy. Is it just because of the Rebellion’s slightly more relaxed structure – or is it that I’ve become a bit used to having more autonomy? I’m feeling a bit torn between newfound independence and the comfort of the military – but for now the best way to keep us safe as possible while jabbing at the heart of our tormentors is to work within the Rebellion’s structure.

Besides, we went through enough to get here – the escape from Bin Prime wasn’t exactly a cakewalk. The death of Larness by Sprend’s hands was an inauspicious start… I want to believe Sprend wasn’t in control when it happened, but I know the rage he felt towards Larness. And no time to properly deal with that either – again, the rapid escape took precedent. The Star Destroyers falling into orbit as reached the starport didn’t help anyone’s nerves either – nor did the state of our ride. “It’s a Trap”?! Confidence-inspiring. Still, in the end it did the job, even in the face of several warheads lancing towards us and our friend the Inquisitor showing up with a cavalry as well. Thanks to some steady shooting on Sprend’s and quick computer work on Tor’s part (not to mention Dash’s… erratic… flying), that is – and several colorful swears as well. A few I hadn’t even heard before, quite impressive!

Thus started our integration into Rebellion proper – a meetup on a remote station, orders to head to Arda 1, a chance to pick over the armory (hello prototype heavy blaster!), and time under a doctor’s care (no THAT doctor, pretty sure Swift wasn’t interested in the droid surgeon who patched us up). Not much chance to talk though, between time in the medbay and Swift’s obsession with the armory droid (who apparently had lightsaber knowledge). And then Dash ended up signing up for training, so he’d be gone from our family for a time – I know worrying about him will not help, but I couldn’t help but spend what free time I did have getting snippets of conversation in with him, trying to impart what wisdom I could.

No down time once we arrived at Arda 1 either – not even the flight in was relaxing. Tight canyon entries sounded great from a defense standpoint – until the slave control circuits go haywire and you have to fly the run by hand! Our first sign something was up…

Still, the people at the base itself seemed competent and, for the most, friendly. They wasted no time putting us to work either, with a Cpt. Bess handing us a patrol assignment due to some sick pilots.

I’m not sure if I’d say I spent the small time off before the patrol wisely, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. The cantina’s bartender was quite a character – I could listen to his stories for hours! Unlike the others at the bar – one Rick Torrens (“ace pilot”) & Mercedes, another pilot; all arrogance, just like so many of the pilots back at the Academy. It was quite enjoyable watching Swift & Sprend clean them out at the gambling tables (less enjoyable that they cleaned me out as well) – made me miss my times at the casino with Sally. Hopefully she’s safe…

Second sign: unexpected comms interference during patrol, followed shortly by the third sign: a device attached to a rock, apparently transmitting some sort of encrypted data. VERY big fourth sign: the Imperial probe droid that we ran across soon after. Thank goodness for Sprend’s gunnery handiwork! Then… well, at this point, numbering signs becomes meaningless – the sight of a fleet of Star Destroyers looming over the horizon will drive all else from your mind. It certainly did mine, as I felt a heady but dangerous mix of fear and adrenaline course through me as an oddly-shaped TIE screamed towards us (was that… Tam Blackstar’s symbol? FRAK.)

Clearly we survived though – but at a high cost. Arda 1 now presumably lies in ruins as we float in the remote stretches of gods-know-where, planning out next move. The evacuation feels like one long hazy dream… running down corridors shaking from blaster fire, ambushed by a pair of Edoran Enochs (those claws HURT! Why do the animals keep coming after ME?!), feet pounding onward as I leave the Baron behind (I wanted to help those people too… but if we didn’t complete our mission we might ALL perish!), firefights with AT-STs flaring at my back, detonating the charges that crashed massive rock walls onto the lumbering AT-ATs, devastation of Stormtrooper squads by gun emplacement, the battle with Cpt. Balrekk the Butcher. Well, no, THAT one I remember clearly, as that bastard ripped into me with his heavy rifle. That left a lasting impression – but not as much as the grenade the Tor lobbed at Balrekk did. I fear I let the dark side out a bit there – I definitely lost my discipline as the pain from dual blaster hits hobbled me; I lurched towards the last trooper, yelling some of those recently-learned curses (and a few choice old standbys) and letting loose a volley of fire. Well, literally, it turned out – the trooper was hiding behind a fuel crate, and now I think my eyebrows may be a bit singed off. Maybe Swift’s doctor can lend me some makeup?

More fog of war… a suspicious figure hunched over another mysterious device, walkers heading towards the base, convincing the commanders to leave (I understand the desire to stay to the end, but the Rebellion NEEDS them alive!), crawling through the ducts, corridor after corridor of firefights with troopers, setting self destruct sequences, even more deadly dances with Imperial troops, and finally the last beleaguered flight offworld, only to stare down the entire Imperial armada. What we would do without Tor’s quick computer work to jump us out of there I don’t know…

And now here we are. Inspiring speeches from the command are nice, but I can’t help but feel it’s Bin Prime all over again. Unguided growth of my powers (though I feel I’m getting a handle on how to help the rest of the team best with them – I certainly had enough chances lately!), an apparent saboteur in our midst, unsure who to trust (I may trust the remaining commanders, but others do not), a new destination, and the mysterious device to decipher (with Cpt. Bess’s help – the only other to know of all we’d seen so far), and more blaster scars to heal.

At least I know someone who can point me to a doctor.