Andretti's Journal of Heroism

It's true. They are not maneuverable at all, even with brilliant piloting, and cannot handle speed. I can't believe our glorious Empire forced me to fly it.

Well, my week started out great. We were back at the capital ship in the fleet, and I totally beat Deadeye in a best of 3 shootout. Urà! It was close - she gave me a real run for my money, but The Great Andretti walked away with the moolah.

Then Rabee agreed to an eating contest - he thought that he'd beat the Maestro because I am so lithe and graceful, but my metabolism is even faster than a Chadra-fan. I do admit, he did a respectable job, but he probably didn't notice that I slipped in a little… well, never mind about that. Unfortunately he came down with a stomachache, I have no idea why. Poor little guy. I felt bad for him, so I returned his wager to make him feel better.

That meant he couldn't come along on our next assignment: investigate some kind of crappy shipment problem. We had to fly somewhere far away from the Core - how will Andretti become famous so far from the Imperial City? The galaxy is being cheated out of my Daring Exploits of Skill.

The ILH-KK malfunctioned as I landed. My lightning-quick reflexes turned a near-disaster into a nearly perfect landing, and I gently reversed the ship away from the half-broken port door. The scemo port authority tried to accuse me of vandalizing the hangar, but I calmly explained how the accelerator malfunctioned and I probably saved his pathetic (well I didn't actually say that part) life. I don't know why he was so upset, the door was easy to walk through with even a decent amount of agility. Lazy uomini.

We went to the nearest cantina at Deadeye's request. I think she may have a problem, but she pretends she's fine. Anyway, the Dusty Horn was nice, and Deadeye chatted up the barkeep. I bought Deadeye a drink, since she seemed a bit surly since I beat her in marksmanship.

I then had to buy Drekk a tonic water to stop him from giving away our secrets. He was just going to ask plainly about our mission, and we are supposed to be undercover. Good thing Maestro is around to make sure we stay inconspicuous!

We had a friendly arm wrestle, and I let Drekk win. I don't want to win everything, because then my friends will stop gambling with me. Deadeye told us to follow her to the lower level - she must have gotten some intel.

The lower level had high security, and when I saw a flying camera droid, I decided to buy an ion blaster. You can never have too many guns, and uomini don't mind if I carry that kind around since they think droids aren't people. Well, I don't know if they are or not, really, but it doesn't matter since they can shoot you just as well as a uomini can.

We found a used droid shop that Deadeye thought was suspicious. There was a really annoying protocol droid and I almost shot it in the face, but Deadeye bribed my attention away by promising to buy me a drink back at the Dusty Horn. She's so easy to manipulate.

Well, after drinks and discussion, we thought up an awesome plan. We'd go back down and just sneak around. But it turned out better than that, because one of the neighbouring shops was a “medical supply” store, and the storekeeper was definitely using his own goods. Deadeye and I basically walked past the devaronian while Drekk distracted him. That tells you something about the medicine. Oi mama.

There was a common loading area for the row of shops, as if it was a smuggling port. What a surprise. I swiftly sliced into the ship docked outside of the droid shop, and stuck a tracking device on the inside. Andretti, Master Secret Agent!

We were nearly caught, but my clever thinking saved the day by leaving before anyone could see us. We reported back to the boss, and she told us to follow Hugo's flight path (the smuggler that Deadeye discovered). He was supposed to be retired from dangerous smuggling, but apparently he actually isn't. And it was his ship in front of the droid shop.

Well, my tracking device worked perfectly, and I landed right beside Hugo's ship by some junk yard. We snuck around like commandos, and some bad guys came and I killed most of them. Well, Drekk did a good job of mowing them down, too. It was pretty exciting - I almost stowed away on Hugo's ship, but it turned out to be unnecessary. Oh well, definitely next time.

Turns out old Hugo thought he was retired, and they were making him smuggle without his knowledge. It sounded fishy, but I didn't argue. It turns out that Treeface from the tourist-y planet was paying Hugo, and so our next step is probably to beat him up and find out who is the shadowy figure behind it all. That would be standard Imperial procedure.

I'm not sure why I feel like I have a vendetta against Treeface, though. First I whipped him at high-stakes hintaro, then when he rudely bumped me in the streets I collected payment from him for his unprovoked assault on me, and Drekk killed all his guards. Hmm. Now that I consider this, we should probably watch our backs.